Daddy ... it hurts

I got the following from my son's myspace. I don't know who wrote it but I felt it was worth passing along, as it asks. I hope it touches you as deeply as it touched me.



My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen.


I cannot see.


I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.


I can't speak at all,
I can't do a wrong,
Or else I'm locked up,
All day long.


When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.


When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.


I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar
I hear him curse,
My name is called,
I press myself,
Against the wall.


I try to hide,
From his evil eyes,
I'm so afraid now,
I'm starting to cry.


He finds me weeping,
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault,
He suffers at work.


He slaps and hits me,
And yells at me more,
I finally get free,
And run to the door.


He's already locked it,
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me,
Against the hard wall.


I fall to the floor,
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues,
With more bad words spoken.


'I'm sorry!', I scream,
But it's now much to late,
His face has been twisted,
Into a unimaginable shape.


The hurt and the pain,
Again and again,
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops,
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless,
Sprawled on the floor.


My name is Chris,
I am three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.


And you can help,
Sickens me to the soul,
If you read this,
and don't pass it on.......
I pray for your forgiveness,
You would have to be,
One heartless person,
Not to be affected,
By this Poem.


And because you ARE affected,
Do something about it!
So all I ask you to do,
Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE!
Post this as 'Daddy ... it hurts'

3 shopping days left

Thankfully I only work two of them. I have an 8 hour shift tonight, I expect to busy but Wednesday will be worse. I only work 4 hours Wednesday because we close at 6:00 that day. And that is when the fun begins. We have to get the customers out, we have to set the front end for Friday (and all the returns), make sure all the reshops are put away and get out of there. Usually there are people that are trying to come in as we are letting customers out. Apparently they don't believe the signs that are posted all week saying that we close at 6:00 on Christmas Eve. They also must have very short memories because we close at 6:00 pm on Christmas Eve every year. It is the one night of the year that we close early.

I am not done. I get paid Wednesday and I still have one more gift that I have to pick up. Since my boyfriend works days this week, I will have to try and get it during my 15 minute break. Wish me luck, the store will be packed with last minute shoppers. It's weird too, because usually I am not a last minute shopper. This year it just worked out that way.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

This Year's Card

Last year I painted a picture and decided to use it for my Christmas card for the special people in my life. It was a big hit so I continued my new tradition this year.
Since you, my dear readers, are special people to me I am sharing this card with all of you. I hope you enjoy it.

A home full
of happiness,
laughter and memories,
friendships rekindled,
hearts filled
with joy . . .
May these be your treasures
at Christmas time.

May the Light shine upon you through the New Year.



Tammy

'Tis the Season

I used to love the Christmas season, picking out gifts for my loved ones, the lights, scents and music. I bought into the hype that people are happy and fun to be with.

This is my 5th year working retail and every year I become more disillusioned. People are mean and rude. I know that no one has much money to spend this year, please don't take your frustrations out on the cashier, we don't have any more than you do. When you yell at us because you spent more than you anticipated, or because an item didn't get put into the system at the price it has been marked down to (not our fault, by the way), because you are on a tight budget, or any other number of reasons, that can ruin our whole day. We are there to do a job, just like you do at your place of work.

How would feel if someone that you don't even know came into your office and started screaming and cussing (yes, in some instances there has been cussing) at you for something that wasn't your fault? How would the rest of your day go? Would you be able to keep on smiling and being pleasant all day? Now, how about if it happened over and over again?

We are aware that we are short handed, and we are trying to get you through the line and out the door as quickly as possible. We do not do the hiring, nor do we make the work schedule.

I have had cashiers call me over because a customer was yelling at them because their credit card, debit card, or check was declined. I know that this is embarrassing for you, however, it is not or fault. Debit cards and checks are declined if there isn't enough money in the account to cover them, our checks are automatically deducted just like a debit card. Checks are also declined if you have a returned check somewhere that uses the same check system that we do. With credit cards, the most common reason is that the card issuer denies the charge. We really wish that we could help you, but there isn't anything that we can do in any of these cases, so please, don't take it out on us.

I am asking you to please, let those of us that work in retail enjoy the season too. Please remember that we have to deal with the same frustrations as you. We also have families that we need to shop for, we have to wait in the same lines. We may look like someone to take it all out on because we are just a face at the register but we are human, we have feelings.

Don't get me wrong, there are some real nice and pleasant people out there. They are a joy to wait on, and when a cashier is lucky enough to get one it really helps them get through the day. So I thank those of you are nice to the cashiers, your friendly smile and kind words helped someone more than you know.

For everyone, please take into your mind and hearts, 'Tis the Season to be Jolly.

Fur and Feathers

Our furred and feathered family members can be a source of comfort, a reason to laugh, provide entertainment and at times bring pain.

Of course you've met the degus before. After several different name changes we finally settled on Speedy and Rocky. They are not afraid of the cat and if they don't want him near them they will make a hissing type sound and stomp their feet at him. Speedy is still unsure about us but Rocky is getting friendlier. Now when I feed them he will come up to me and sometimes I can actually touch him. They love to rearrange their cage, and they are strong. We have their pellets in a heavy ceramic dish and they often move it to the center of their cage. Their sweet potatoes go into a small blue plastic dish, it is also fairly heavy and they throw it all over the place including putting it up on top of their house. They sing to each other, they cuddle up and make this noise that sounds like they are singing.


Meet Squizzels and PJ. We didn't name them, they came to us with those names. They were 4 and 5 years old when we got them and we have had them for 3 years. When we got them I went online to learn about cockatiels, the websites said that they like fruit and vegetables for treats. Well, our's don't, they do however like scrambled eggs and kix cereal. They also know when it is Saturday and are extremely noisy until their shows are turned on. They really seem to enjoy That's So Raven and Hannah Montana. They are quiet the whole time those shows are on and sit in their cage and listen to the t.v. PJ and Squizzels love to have a spray bottle shower (not the same bottle we use on Winston).
This is Winston. He looks nice and sweet and when he wants to be he is. The trouble with Winston is that most of the time he doesn't want to be. He can go from giving a cuddle and purring to holy terror in 30 seconds or less. Sometimes I swear he has a split personality. Winston has his own toys, but his favorite things to play with are straws and small toys that he steals out of my stepson's toy box. He is sure that he is king and all the rest of us are his subjects and if he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it (which is often) he tries to punish us with his claws. Of course that is when we reach for the spray bottle with water and vinegar in it. We tried plain water but that didn't work. He's pretty sure that part of his job is to check on the birds and degus. The birds tell on him when he gets too close, one will squawk and the other will hiss at him. They could bite him but they don't.

Well that's about it for our furred and feathered family members.

Red Barn

I finished this piece just before I did the butterfly, it just took me awhile to actually take a photo so I could post it. 9x12 soft pastel and pastel pencils, on Kitty Wallis paper. Hope you like it. The reference photo came from Wet Canvas reference library.

I Voted Today,

Did You? If you didn't, get out there and vote. Even if the polls say your candidate is in the lead, so you think you don't have to vote, because he will win without your vote, get out there and vote. If enough people think that way and act on it, then your candidate could possibly lose because people didn't take the time to vote, thinking that his winning was inevitable.

You don't like either presidential candidate? Go vote anyway, there are always local and State elections and questions that need to be voted on. Make your statement by leaving the presidential ballot blank.

Just vote, deal with the bad weather (if you have bad weather), deal with the long lines, put up with problems with the machines...make your voice heard, Vote!

It Happened at Work

One of my duties is to either deny or approve returns at the Customer Service desk, so I am called over to the desk a few times a night. Sometimes these are quite unbelievable.

We had a customer that insisted that she didn't have to pay Maine Sales Tax because she is from New Hampshire. It took me and another CSM to get her to understand that when you are shopping in Maine you have to pay the sales tax.

There was the customer that brought back a home blood pressure tester that she had bought 4 years ago and insisted that she could return it because it had quit working and had a warranty. The Customer Service Associate and I had a difficult time getting her to understand that she had to contact the manufacturer, that the warranty is through the manufacturer, not through Walmart, and for most items we have a 90 day return policy.

I have had customers tell me that we should have every single policy that the company has regarding returns posted through out the store, even though they are clearly posted at Customer Service.

A couple of weeks ago I was called over to a register for a price check, where the customer was saying that an item was on clearance. The item in question was one that we had just started carrying a week early. I went and did the price check any way and it was marked for the price that the register rang it at.
Sometimes people get angry because we have to do a price check.
I think they just don't realize that we can't take their word for it, we have to go and check the price. Sometimes they are right about the price, but more often than not the price rang up turns out to be correct.

I have had customers chew me and the cashier out because their credit card gets denied. I'm sorry, this isn't our fault, when it comes up credit provider denies the charge, there isn't anything that we can't do anything about.


I think the best one that I have heard though is this one. We have a very short cashier. She was covering customer service one night when a customer came in to cash a paycheck. This man Said to the cashier "You are short. I bet you give good sex." She tried to ignore the statement, then he noticed that she wasn't wearing a wedding ring when she handed him is money. "Oh I see you're single." Just at the time the phone rang and she went to answer it and the man left without any further comments.
The poor cashier was so embarrassed, and now she wears a ring when she comes to work to keep men like that from hitting on her.


Now I do have to say that I have seen some very good things happen.

I had an elderly couple pay for formula for a young mother when she tried to use a WIC check early. If you aren't familiar with WIC, the checks have a starting and ending date of when they can be used.

I had an older customer help a young father pay for his groceries when he didn't have enough money for them.

People like the last two examples help to restore one's faith in the human race.

That overwhelmed feeling

Have you felt overwhelmed and that you didn't have time for anything? That's how I have been feeling for a month and a half now. I probably wouldn't have time for art except that I take it to work with me and work on it while I'm on my lunch hour. I get this way once in awhile and it is hard to shake. It seems to happen any time there are changes in my life. The most recent change is a change in my schedule at work. I used to work 2:00 pm to 11:00 pm, however due to changes in the scheduling I needed to open up the hours I am available in order to get my hours. So now I am available from 12:30 pm to 11:00 pm. Since I don't sleep well, due to night sweats, I sleep as late as possible in the morning, this leaves me feeling rushed to get ready for work. I just need to adjust but it seems to be taking too long this time.

Anyway, this is part the reason that I have not been here much and why I haven't been visiting you all at your blogs lately, well, that and internet issues.

Hopefully, I'll be seeing you all more regularly soon. Until then, take care.

Baker's Butterfly

Last month I asked Baker Watson at Fish and Frog - Turtle and Blog if I could use some of his photos as reference photos for art. I just completed the first one, pastel, 9x12, on Canson paper. I call it "Simple Beauty".
If you would like to view the original photo you can find it Here.

Thank you very much, Baker. I hope you like it.

Things 1 and 2

Meet the newest members of our family. Their names are Thing 1 and Thing 2 because it is hard to tell them apart. They are degus. Degus are from Chile, they're rodents, like hamsters, gerbils, etc. Ours are almost full grown and have not been handled much so we are in the process of trying to hand tame them so they can be handled. They eat guinea pig pellets, hay, spinach and they absolutely love peeled and cut up raw sweet potatoes. That seems to be their favorite treat. They need to have a dust bath like chinchillas, which they seem to enjoy.

While they are afraid of us, they are not one bit afraid of our cat, Winston. Winston will get up by their cage and lay there watching them and they will come over and rub noses with him through the bars.

Are you a chameleon?

I had a friend that was a chameleon, what I mean by this is that she would change herself to fit in with who ever she was hanging out with, especially men. When she was interested in a man she suddenly became interested in what ever his interests were. She would change herself to be the person that the man wanted. Since the person that she portrayed wasn't who she really was, her relationships didn't last long, and when the relationship was over so was her new interest. At one point I tried to point this out to her but she didn't listen. Over the years we have grown apart and both moved. I often wonder about her and if she finally found happiness with who she is.

Are you a chameleon? Do you change yourself to fit in with others?

Baby pics

It's A Boy!

William Robert (Willie) was born Aug 9 at 4:45 pm. He weighed in at 7 lbs, 6 oz and is 19 1/2 inches long.

Pictures will be posted when I receive them.

Does the happy grandma dance.

Grandma arrested

I just read this story and I have to say I have a hard time understanding why a grandmother would do something so stupid and dangerous with a grandchild.
Grandma Arrested

What are your thoughts on this?

Why can't sizes be universal?

A few days ago I went shopping for some new pants for work. Now I know that sizing may be different for different brands. I also know that I wear a size 12 because I have pants that are size 12 from 3 different brands. Even knowing what size I wear I still try on the pants when I go shopping.

I chose 2 pair of pants (same brand) and went to try them on. Both pair of pants were size 12. The first pair I tried on fit perfectly and I almost didn't try on the 2nd pair. I'm glad that I did. The 2nd pair was way too small and I had to go back and get a larger size (which I also tried on), this pair fit.

What I don't understand is how 2 pairs of pants from the same company can be so drastically different in the size. I really wish that all companies and brands would use the same sizing for pants.

Waiting for baby

My fifth grandchild is due to be born any time now. Waiting for a baby to be born is hard. Waiting for a baby to be born when you are 2000 miles away is even harder. I keep waiting for the phone to ring, I keep checking messages.

I wish I was there, but since I can't be, I will just keep waiting for a phone call, and then the pictures that me son said he will email to me.

Woman stabs foot during ritual

I just read a news article about a woman stabbing her foot with a sword during a Wiccan Ceremony. You can read the article here.

Woman runs sword into foot...

What I don't understand is why do this ritual in a cemetery? Even though the article doesn't bash Wicca, the fact that they were performing the ritual in a cemetery could feasibly lead to more misinformation about Wiccans. I can hear it now, "Wiccans must be evil, they perform their ceremonies in cemeteries. They must be doing black magic", etc.

Of course, I could be wrong and nothing will come of this.

Walmart: The good stuff

Walmart gets a lot of bad press, and the Gods know I do my own share of venting.

Here is some of the good about the company.

Walmart has what they call an Open Door policy. This means that any associate that has a problem can go to a supervisor or management and make a complaint or talk about their problem. I like that, I don't have to go a third party and talk to them and then have them do my talking for me. I know the open door works because I have used it.

You know those little paper balloons the cashiers ask if you want to purchase for CMN? Well the money from those balloons goes to the Children's Network Hospital nearest to your Walmart. All the money raised from the balloons at my Walmart goes to the Barbara Bush Children's Hospital in Portland, Maine.

Aside from the donations from customers for CMN, our store also has silent auctions, and bake sales for associates with the proceeds going to CMN.

Walmart has an associates in critical need fund. If your an an associate and you have a critical need you can talk to your personnel manager and get some help. Having never had the need to use it, I do not know exactly what is considered a critical need.

We support Relay for Life and our store has two teams.

Our store donates thousands of dollars every year to local causes.

The people, it doesn't matter what area you work in, there are no boundaries, people pull together to help each other, at work and outside of work.

If it weren't for our local Walmart many more people in our area would be unemployed.

A pig in the bed and lambs in the pantry

The year was 1992 and we were living 6 miles from Lavina, MT. Lavina is a very small town (pop. around 200) 50 miles away from Billings, MT. Our home included a barn, pig pen, chicken coop and a small pasture and a large garden area. It was ideal for me because I wanted to raise our own food. My (ex)husband worked with a man that raised pigs, he had a new litter. We had talked about getting a weaner pig from him when the piglets were ready. One day he brought home a very small piggy. She was the runt and couldn't compete well with her larger litter mates. We had a wood stove in the bedroom and made her a bed behind it so she would stay warm and I bought some baby formula and baby cereal to feed her. My boys were told told that when she grew up she would be butchered and would be dinner. They started calling her Dinner and that became her name.

A few weeks later I was given a lamb. He wasn't expected to live, but if I wanted to try I could have him. He had something wrong with his neck so that he had trouble standing. He looked like he was dizzy and we named him Dizzy. Dizzy had to be kept warm and in a small area where he couldn't hurt himself so he lived in our pantry.

Now as Dinner grew she got adventurous and started exploring. It was getting difficult to keep her in the bedroom, if I shut the bedroom door she would stand there and squeal which set my dogs off barking. I was thinking that it was probably time to put her out in the pig pen but was reluctant to do it because she was still so small. I changed my mind about putting her out when I woke up one morning and had 3 dogs and one small pig in my bed. If she could climb up onto the bed she was old enough to go outside.

Dizzy also flourished and grew. He over came his dizziness and was able to move out to the barn.

Welcome to_________now go home

I'm from Montana. Most native Montanans do not like Californians. They come to the state to escape the rat race and instead bring it with them. They drive up the costs of land and housing so that many native Montanans can't afford to buy. I have seen many bumper stickers telling Californians to go home.

I have lived in Maine for 4 years. In that time, I have found that many native Mainers feel the same way about 'people from away' particularly those from Massachusetts. If you are 'from away' you always will be, now matter how long you have lived here. I have seen a bumper sticker that says "Welcome to Maine, now go home". Maine is Vacationland, it says so on the license plates. Tourist season brings a lot of money into the state and many businesses rely on the tourists. If you run a retail business, a resort or hotel, you are happy to see the tourists, they equal sales. If you have to drive any where you are not happy to see them, they clog the roads with traffic. People from Massachusetts also come here and buy land and houses and drive the costs up.

I have to wonder if all states feel the same way about out of staters moving in.

Marginal Way

In the four years I have lived in Maine I haven't seen much of the state. Before this weekend I had only been to the coast 2 times. Saturday we got together with my boyfriend's sisters and went to Ogunquit to walk the Marginal Way. The Marginal way is a walking path along the rocky coast. On your left you have the coast and on your right you have expensive homes with well manicured lawns and flower gardens.

Stereotyping

Yesterday I was reading a blog, Complex Femme, and stereotyping was mentioned.

What is stereotyping? According to Dictionary.com

4. Sociology. a simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group: The cowboy and Indian are American stereotypes.
–verb (used with object)
5. to make a stereotype of.
6. to characterize or regard as a stereotype: The actor has been stereotyped as a villain.
7. to give a fixed form to.

It is my opinion that while stereotyping is often taught to children by their parents, whether intentional or not, it is also caused by being uninformed, and can be caused by first impressions, and experiences.

My first stepfather was Mexican American. He was physically abusive to my Mother. Given this experience I could easily stereotype Mexican Americans as abusers. However, I know that isn't true. No matter how hard I tried to get my mom to leave this man she wouldn't do it. Later he cheated on her and then left her for his girlfriend.

My ex both cheated on me and was abusive. So now I have the experiences that would allow me to stereotype all men as abusive cheaters. Again, I know that this isn't true.

My first impression of an Australian was a very rude boy that I refused an alcohol sale to, because he did not have proper ID. First he tried to say I was prejudice against Australians, then he proceeded to put me down through the entire transaction as a rang up the rest of his items. To top it all off it was some how my fault that his credit card would not let him get cash back at the register. I could easily have decided that Australians are rude.

I would ask that before you use stereotypes for groups of people, whether it is religion, race, sexual orientation, or some other group that you take the time to realize how you formed this opinion and hopefully become more informed about the group of people that you are stereotyping. What holds true for one or two individuals doesn't necessarily hold true for a whole group of people.

New to blogging?

So am I.

I would like to share a few sources that I found with you.
Blogger Talk is a blogging community. It has a forum with advice and people that are happy to help you with your questions.

One of the best sources for information that I have found is another blog, Rose often posts tips for bloggers on her blog.

I also encourage you to visit other blogs, often. See what they are writing about it may inspire you for an idea for your own blog. I am not saying to write about what another blogger has posted, just that you may get an inspiration from reading. Make sure that you leave a comment.

Well, that's all I have since I am still learning myself.
Enjoy your blogging experience!

Pagan Bashing

I am appalled that NBC has allowed one of it's commentators to get away with her pagan bashing comment on the Today Show. Is religious intolerance now acceptable on national television?
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/25368216#25368216

Pagans are not bad nasty people. We are mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters. We are your co-worker. We donate to charity, we help our neighbor. We are out there and except for those few that are in it for the shock factor, you can not tell us from anyone else. We care about the earth, we care about what is going on in our society and the world. We love our families and our friends. We work, we laugh, we play, we cry. In short, pagans are no different from any one else.

If you feel that religious intolerance has no place on a national T.V. show I urge you to sign the petition that you will find HERE

Or you can send an email to the commentator HERE

No matter what your religion is no one should have the right to bash it. After all religion and spirituality are a personal choice.

A Meme of 5

I was tagged by Rose for this meme.

“The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.”

1) What were you doing 5 years ago? Five years ago I was living in a very small town in Montana, I was recovering from surgery and trying to get up the nerve to live on my own.

2) What are 5 things on your to-do list for today?: Get online, eat, change the sheets, do some laundry, go to work.

3) What are 5 snacks you enjoy?: buffalo style chicken breast strips, ice cream, bananas, popcorn shrimp, chips.

4) What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?: I would buy a house for me and for each of my sons. I would donate some to charities for cancer and for children's hospitals, I would quit my job, I would set up trust funds for my grandchildren and my young stepson, I would give my sons some money to invest in their futures.

5) What are five jobs you’ve had?: Building grain bins, waitress, bartender, cashier, customer service manager.

I am tagging: Mae, Lisa, Craig, Hillbilly Willy, Wayne

Greatest Love

I've been tagged by fellow blogger Mae

To whom or what you give your greatest LOVE and why?

It should go without saying that I love my children and grandchildren, unconditionally.
I also love my boyfriend and his son unconditionally.

But my greatest love? Well, that is for myself. This is not narcissistic.

A few years ago I was in an emotionally/verbally abusive marriage. From my ex, I learned that I was a worthless human being. I learned not to stand up for myself, I learned that I wasn't capable of doing anything right no matter how hard I tried.

With the help of my online friends, that I have mentioned in another post on my blog,
I slowly came to realize that I wasn't worthless and useless. I began to love myself and I was able to break away from the abuse.

I have learned that if you can't love yourself you can't truly love another, or truly be loved by another.

I have learned that to love yourself you must forgive yourself for the past. You can't forgive others if you can't forgive yourself.

I have learned that to love yourself you must accept yourself for who you are. Once you do that you are more able to change those faults or habits that you may not be comfortable with, because now you have accepted that they are a part of you.

I have learned not to let anyone bully me, because I am just as important as the next person.

I know that I am not perfect, and I know that I do not have to be perfect to be worth being loved by another.

I have learned that when you love yourself you don't need an outside influence or another person to make you happy because you can find happiness within.

So my greatest love goes to myself and it is the source of the love I feel for everyone else and everything else that I love.

Corporate Control

I work for a major retail corporation. Awhile back the corporation decided that their computer program was better able to judge how many associates needed to be scheduled in the stores, than the managers that work in the stores.

The managers were told that the computer would be making the schedules and that changes couldn't be made. I'm told that the computer bases the scheduling on last year's sales for that day. The computer isn't programmed to take into account events that are happening in our area, it doesn't seem to be programmed to 'know' when it is a weekend. It doesn't 'know' that we may have had bad weather on a given day last year that affected the sales.

As a result of this, on the weekends there aren't any floor associates scheduled and very few cashiers. Many nights, including Friday, Saturday and Sunday, we have only 4 cashiers after 8:00 pm, there have been nights where there were only 2 cashiers scheduled. We are expected to give fast, friendly service, and not have lines, with 4 or fewer cashiers. Most nights, and always on the weekends, there aren't any floor associates to call up to run register in the case of lines. There aren't any floor associates to help the customers that need help in the different departments.


I have to wonder if the computer really does schedule according to last year's sales because, all summer long, every night we have the camp councilor kids in, 4 to 6 vans of them from the different camps in our area, plus the tourists and our regular customers. The computer is not scheduling for this, even though it is a yearly occurance.

None of this makes any sense to me. It is my opinion that the assistant manager that works over each area knows how many associates they need at any given time throughout the day. They know when events are in the area and how many extra people they would need to compensate for the extra customers. They know when it is a weekend.

In my opinion, a person should be making the schedule not a computer. Maybe it works for larger stores in big cities but it doesn't work for smaller stores. I know that the customer shopping experience would be greatly improved if we had more people scheduled than we do, especially at night.

Online Friends

Several years ago someone told me that you can't really be friends with someone that you have never met in person.

That person was wrong. I have a group of friends online that are much better friends than those that I have known in person. We have shared each others ups and downs we have supported each other in life changing decisions and I can say that these friends truly care about me as much as I care about them.

Here is an example, in 2003 I was taken by ambulance to the hospital 50 miles away because I couldn't breathe. I was hospitalized for pneumonia, my right lung was completely full and they had to do surgery to be able to drain it. I almost died. Not one of my real life friends came to see me or even call the whole week and a half that I was there, but my online friends called every day to check on me and cheer me up. They took turns and kept each other informed, and those that were Reiki practitioners sent me Reiki daily.

In 2004 when I decided to move across country to be with a man that I had never met in person (but had known online for 2 years), they supported me in that decision and I was lucky enough to be able to meet some of them in person for the first time. BTW, we have been together for 4 years. I am not advocating moving across country to be with someone you met on the internet, I was fully aware of the chance I was taking.

Some of my online friends have chronic health problems. I send them Reiki, I look up information that can possibly help them, but more important, I try to be there for them as well as for all of my friends as they have been there for me.

Just because you have never met a someone in person doesn't make them any less of a friend than those you know in person. Think about it, what makes a friend?

Kudos to all of my online friends out there, you know who you are.

Work

Yesterday afternoon I got to work and found out that the closing CSM quit yesterday morning. What happened to 2 week notices? I don't close, I only work as late as 11:00 pm. I can rush and get everything, meaning the CSM duties, done by 11:00 and then management has to be available to come up front if the cashiers need anything. It's just very difficult on a Friday and Saturday night to be the only CSM, because we are busy and a single CSM is running constantly and usually in three directions at once.

I am also alone tonight and I get out at 10:00. I haven't figured out how I am going to do this. There is no way I can get the registers pulled by 10:00. I can get the front ones but not the outlying and the self checks, they can't even be pulled until 10:00. I'm hoping that management has called one of the other night CSMs to come in and help.

Wish me luck.

Summertime songs

Hi all, I got this meme from my blogging friend Rose I thought I would give it a try.

“List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.”

Most of my 'feel good' songs are silly little songs that I learned as a kid, and most of them I don't know the proper title or where they originated but here they are. I used to sing them with my boys now I sing them with my 8 almost 9 year old stepson.

7. Here Comes The Sun (The Beatles)

6. There's A Hole In The Bucket

5. I walked Around The Corner

4. Boom Boom And It's Great To Be Crazy

3. Take Me Out To The Ball Park

2. You Get A Line And I'll Get A Pole

1. Tweedle O Twill

I don't expect anyone to even know most of these.

Like Rose, I'm not going to tag anyone, but if your interested in joining then please
copy the instructions and pass it on.

Oh and go ahead, open your mouth and sing just because it feels good.

My first award!

Thank you, Rose DesRochers World Outside my Window for presenting me with this E is for Excellent blog award.
Although I'm not sure that I deserve it or why she gave it to me, I am very pleased to have received it.

Rose posted that "Shannon at ProjectMommy.com started this award ring in January." and I feel that credit should be passed on.

Now I just need to come up with 10 bloggers to pass it on to.

Once again, thank you Rose.

Procrastination

Today is my day off. I went to bed last night with the thought that I would get up this morning and write something interesting in my blog. LOL! Now it is 4:03 pm.

I have managed to find all other kinds of things to do instead. Now, it wouldn't be bad if they were productive things but they weren't (I just finally got to the laundry). I have a half finished oil painting that I could've been working on, but wasn't, another procrastination.

So what have I been doing with my time today? I surfed the web a few times, I watched a little TV, and I played a computer game, a couple of times.

I wish I could figure out why I procrastinate. It isn't like I don't enjoy painting, or writing in my blog, because I enjoy both of those things. I can understand not getting excited about doing the laundry and housework they get done because they have to be done. I'm lucky too, because my boyfriend is great about helping with the household chores.

When I was growing up my mom taught me "never put off until tomorrow what you can do today". The older I get the more I put things off though. Am I the only person in the world that does this? Sometimes I wonder about that, my boyfriend doesn't procrastinate. It probably drives him nuts that I do, although he never says anything.

Well, at least my procrastination helped me to get one thing done. I don't know how interesting it is, but it's written.

I hate being sick, a vent

There is nothing worse than waking up in the middle of the night sick.
You're fine when you go to bed and then all of a sudden you're awake and running to the bathroom to be sick. After that the night is shot, even if you do get back to sleep you aren't going to stay asleep.

Of course if you don't work for Wal Mart you can probably call out. I can't, for 2 reasons, 1. you are only allowed to call out sick 3 times in a 6 month period, I have already had my 3 times and that won't go away until the end of next month. 2. I am full time, due to the bad weather this winter I missed a lot of time simply because I couldn't get in to work. So if I miss anymore they are going to knock me down to part time which I can't afford. I am barely making it on what I make right now, and with the gas prices going up and up and up and everything else following them there is no way I can make it on part time wages. So, I am going to work sick, and wondering how this is going to work. I am a cashier, and it is very hard to run to the restroom to be sick when you have a line full of customers waiting to be cashed out.

You all have a great day!

The pagan within

If you saw me on the street you would have no idea that I'm pagan. I don't wear a pentacle. I certainly don't dress all in black with black lipstick and finger nail polish, in fact I don't wear any makeup, I have never felt the need to. I am very put off by the kids that dress in goth like style and claim to be pagan. It seems to me that for them the claim is just for the shock factor. Of course I could be wrong about that, but that is the impression I have gotten from the few that I have met.

I know several pagans both in person and online that are like me and dress like normal people. They aren't out to shock people.

I am not Wiccan. I do not necessarily celebrate the Wiccan Sabbats. I have never understood why the equinoxes and solstices are considered minor Sabbats, they affect me much more than the Major Sabbats do.

I quietly go about my life following my own spirituality. I say spirituality not religion because I don't consider it to be a religion. It is my way of life, whether I am doing magic (yes I left off the 'k') or at work, painting, fishing, cooking or praying. I am a pagan every hour of every day.

If one were to ask me what makes me pagan I would have to say I believe in both a God and Goddess. I belive in reincarnation, I believe that there are ethereal beings out there that can help us or hinder us, and it is up to the individual to either accept the help from the helpful entities or remove the hindering entities. I believe that I make my own reality, sometimes I just don't know why I make the reality that I am living.

There are probably more reasons why I consider myself pagan, but at the moment I can't come up with them and I think I have listed enough.

Just remember that you can't know someone just by looking at them.

Taking My Power Back

Lately it seems like everything I try to do ends up not working and when I think things are getting better I get kicked in the teeth.

I got to the point were I was feeling defeated. I just didn't know how much it showed until last night at work when two different people asked if I was okay, because; one said I was too quiet (which I don't get, because I am usually quiet any way) and the other said I wasn't my usual bubbly self (funny, I don't consider myself bubbly).

So, today I said okay, I have been feeling defeated lately, but I have to remember that I can make things happen for me and not let them happen to me.

I have been wanting to move up to Support Manager for over a year. Tonight a co-worker and I went to the Store Manager and told him that we would both like to learn and be licensed for the fork lift and the scissor lift, and I told him that I wanted to learn anything that would help me to be able to move up. I'm glad I did, the night manager will be teaching me and Melissa the things that we want to learn and need to know. She said any night after the 10:00 meeting to bring her a list of what we are interested in learning and she'll make sure that we get the training. So there, I am taking my power back, and I am not feeling so defeated right now.

Art

I had thought of posting some of my art here and I may still, but I decided to start a blog just for my art so that I don't take up a lot of room on here. So if you're interested, http://ontheeasel.blogspot.com.

We went fishing today, first time I have been in years. Didn't catch anything but it was a fun day.
Will was real good, even when he messed up his pole to the point that the reel has to be fixed. he used his dad's for a short time then decided that his dad should fish instead of him. It was warm and just nice to be at the pond. The bugs aren't too thick yet, but a few were out, at least they weren't mosquitoes.

I also just want to add, Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there.

That's about it for now.

Spring's Promise

Well the weather here in Maine has been fairly nice lately, unless you count the rain. But I'm not going to complain about rain just yet, at least it isn't that dreaded white stuff aka snow.

Everything is starting to green up nicely. The trees, although not full, are leafing out and soon we will be able to plant flowers and vegetable gardens.

We have already been out playing croquet and bar-b-quing and are planning on going fishing Saturday.

But, maybe you are wondering about the title. Spring's Promise is that the hot lazy days of summer will soon be here. Days of swimming in the lake or walking along the beach looking for seashells. Days of camping with friends or just laying about the back yard in a hammock or lounge chair. Days of enjoying the flower garden that you have decorated so nicely with little garden figurines.

One thing we can always count on is that Spring will keep her promise.

Welcome to my corner of the world

Hi,

I guess I should start by introducing myself. I'm a 50 year old mother of 3 boys and grandmother of 4 with the 5th on the way. I can't believe that I'm 50, man, the years have passed quickly. I'm a pagan, and no, I don't need to be saved. I was raised Christian and have no intention of being converted back to Christianity. I like who I am and where I am in my life now.

I'm an artist, or at least I like to believe that I am. I work as a cashier for a major retail company.

I'm really hoping that I will be able to come up with enough interesting things to say that I can make some friends here.

I'm pleased to meet you.

Tammy