Monday, May 19, 2008

I hate being sick, a vent

There is nothing worse than waking up in the middle of the night sick.
You're fine when you go to bed and then all of a sudden you're awake and running to the bathroom to be sick. After that the night is shot, even if you do get back to sleep you aren't going to stay asleep.

Of course if you don't work for Wal Mart you can probably call out. I can't, for 2 reasons, 1. you are only allowed to call out sick 3 times in a 6 month period, I have already had my 3 times and that won't go away until the end of next month. 2. I am full time, due to the bad weather this winter I missed a lot of time simply because I couldn't get in to work. So if I miss anymore they are going to knock me down to part time which I can't afford. I am barely making it on what I make right now, and with the gas prices going up and up and up and everything else following them there is no way I can make it on part time wages. So, I am going to work sick, and wondering how this is going to work. I am a cashier, and it is very hard to run to the restroom to be sick when you have a line full of customers waiting to be cashed out.

You all have a great day!

Friday, May 16, 2008

The pagan within

If you saw me on the street you would have no idea that I'm pagan. I don't wear a pentacle. I certainly don't dress all in black with black lipstick and finger nail polish, in fact I don't wear any makeup, I have never felt the need to. I am very put off by the kids that dress in goth like style and claim to be pagan. It seems to me that for them the claim is just for the shock factor. Of course I could be wrong about that, but that is the impression I have gotten from the few that I have met.

I know several pagans both in person and online that are like me and dress like normal people. They aren't out to shock people.

I am not Wiccan. I do not necessarily celebrate the Wiccan Sabbats. I have never understood why the equinoxes and solstices are considered minor Sabbats, they affect me much more than the Major Sabbats do.

I quietly go about my life following my own spirituality. I say spirituality not religion because I don't consider it to be a religion. It is my way of life, whether I am doing magic (yes I left off the 'k') or at work, painting, fishing, cooking or praying. I am a pagan every hour of every day.

If one were to ask me what makes me pagan I would have to say I believe in both a God and Goddess. I belive in reincarnation, I believe that there are ethereal beings out there that can help us or hinder us, and it is up to the individual to either accept the help from the helpful entities or remove the hindering entities. I believe that I make my own reality, sometimes I just don't know why I make the reality that I am living.

There are probably more reasons why I consider myself pagan, but at the moment I can't come up with them and I think I have listed enough.

Just remember that you can't know someone just by looking at them.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Taking My Power Back

Lately it seems like everything I try to do ends up not working and when I think things are getting better I get kicked in the teeth.

I got to the point were I was feeling defeated. I just didn't know how much it showed until last night at work when two different people asked if I was okay, because; one said I was too quiet (which I don't get, because I am usually quiet any way) and the other said I wasn't my usual bubbly self (funny, I don't consider myself bubbly).

So, today I said okay, I have been feeling defeated lately, but I have to remember that I can make things happen for me and not let them happen to me.

I have been wanting to move up to Support Manager for over a year. Tonight a co-worker and I went to the Store Manager and told him that we would both like to learn and be licensed for the fork lift and the scissor lift, and I told him that I wanted to learn anything that would help me to be able to move up. I'm glad I did, the night manager will be teaching me and Melissa the things that we want to learn and need to know. She said any night after the 10:00 meeting to bring her a list of what we are interested in learning and she'll make sure that we get the training. So there, I am taking my power back, and I am not feeling so defeated right now.

Saturday, May 10, 2008


I had thought of posting some of my art here and I may still, but I decided to start a blog just for my art so that I don't take up a lot of room on here. So if you're interested,

We went fishing today, first time I have been in years. Didn't catch anything but it was a fun day.
Will was real good, even when he messed up his pole to the point that the reel has to be fixed. he used his dad's for a short time then decided that his dad should fish instead of him. It was warm and just nice to be at the pond. The bugs aren't too thick yet, but a few were out, at least they weren't mosquitoes.

I also just want to add, Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there.

That's about it for now.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Spring's Promise

Well the weather here in Maine has been fairly nice lately, unless you count the rain. But I'm not going to complain about rain just yet, at least it isn't that dreaded white stuff aka snow.

Everything is starting to green up nicely. The trees, although not full, are leafing out and soon we will be able to plant flowers and vegetable gardens.

We have already been out playing croquet and bar-b-quing and are planning on going fishing Saturday.

But, maybe you are wondering about the title. Spring's Promise is that the hot lazy days of summer will soon be here. Days of swimming in the lake or walking along the beach looking for seashells. Days of camping with friends or just laying about the back yard in a hammock or lounge chair. Days of enjoying the flower garden that you have decorated so nicely with little garden figurines.

One thing we can always count on is that Spring will keep her promise.

Welcome to my corner of the world


I guess I should start by introducing myself. I'm a 50 year old mother of 3 boys and grandmother of 4 with the 5th on the way. I can't believe that I'm 50, man, the years have passed quickly. I'm a pagan, and no, I don't need to be saved. I was raised Christian and have no intention of being converted back to Christianity. I like who I am and where I am in my life now.

I'm an artist, or at least I like to believe that I am. I work as a cashier for a major retail company.

I'm really hoping that I will be able to come up with enough interesting things to say that I can make some friends here.

I'm pleased to meet you.


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